Lift your shirt and let them breath and some will smile and maybe even make a comment, either of approval or of shock, while some may even thank you for your generous gesture. But I have seen enough boobs through the years to hold me over for the rest of my life. In all honesty, I was never a "boob man" anyway; big ones don't catch my attention the way they do for some guys because I always preferred medium to small racks anyway.
On the other hand, show me a topless classic automobile (especially a vintage Ford) and my eyes are likely to bug out and my heart will almost always skip a few beats as my mind begins to wander into places I can no longer afford to go. In that regard, women are like cars to me and given a choice between either, I will always choose the car because I am lazy; cars are lower day-to-day maintenence and they allow more freedom to do more things.
However, that wasn't always so, and in fact, my desires and priorities didn't change too drastically until common sense and more maturity kicked in; the latter didn't become fully developed until I was in my 40s. Before then I had women on my mind an awful lot (too much, some would argue) and I was usually a sucker for a set of shapely legs and a pretty face. By that I mean when I was a much younger man I might have tossed a coin if I was offered a choice between test-driving a hot car or a hot chick but that slowly changed when I began to notice that as cars got older they actually got hotter! For instance; a '64 Thunderbird converible looks better today than it did in 64, whereas only in very rare instances do 64 year old women (or men) look nearly as good as they did in 64!
If you missed the rationale here, stay with me.
I will soon be 64 and it has been years since anyone looked in my direction with any sense of longing for me, and just as many since I longed for a woman in my life, yet I don't know one car-guy that doesn't long for a 64 year-old car! Ask any Chevy man if he wouldn't love to get his hands on a '64 Corvette or any Chrysler guy if he doesn't long for a '64 Dodge or Plymouth with a powerful Hemi motor. Ask any car nut if he would rather hang out at a vintage car show where there will be plenty of '64 convertibles with their tops down or at a Bingo game where 64 year-old gals are sitting around topless.
Old car guys like me don't appreciate some of the things we did when we were young and when our hormones were racing like souped up engines; they slowed down and so did we.
Of course I know a lot of other old geezers that would argue vigorously against everything I have writen here. Some guys never slow down, but instead only lower their expectations to levels they wouldn't have 25 years ago. They stay horny and some still cannot resist pretty faces, nice racks and legs of any shape or age.
For them, if someone shouts "Show me Your Tits!" they turn in that direction hoping they will catch a glimpse and it wouldn't matter who was lifting the shirt; they still want to see them! However, if I am in that same crowd I wouldn't be as excited, not even if I was the only man in a roomful of Playboy Bunnies. I mean, I would probably look but it wouldn't transform me back to youth the way it would if someone shouted "Hey, Look! A '64 T-Bird convertible!"
What a sexist article, you say? Well, maybe, but this piece is not intended to make a sexist point and it really doesn't have anything at all to do with the on-going war between the sexes. Men and women have been battling one another and disagreeing over principle for thouands of years and there isn't anything anyone can do about it so I dropped out of all of that nonsense. That war will wage long after we are all dead and gone and besides, there never was much of chance of either side ever winning anyway.
What remains constant in my life is my love for automobiles and it seems it only grows and becomes more passionate. The women came and went and most of them didn't become more beautiful with age anyway, nor did any of them keep their shapely figures.
But look again at that old Thunderbird! The body is still absolutely stunning! Those curves have stood the test of time and its headlights seem to be beckoning me with a sort of sexy come hither look. Talk about a sexy hard body!
When I was a young man, just starting out on the journey of life my dad gave me the same talk most dad's give their sons; it began with "Son, if it has tits or tires you can expect trouble." He drilled it into my head that a new set of tires are always less expensive than a set of new tits but that wisdom he shared way back then didn't begin to make sense until I got maried for a second time.
Since then it has been like an awakening and now that I am this old guy that experienced the joys and laughter that came with relationships with women (as well as the tears and broken knuckles from working on cars). I feel as if it is my annointed duty to share whatever pearls of wisdom I might be able to, with anyone ready to flip a coin to decide between a car or a woman, because let's face it, we aren't likely to be happy with both at the same time for very long.
Relax, women say worse things about men all of the time!
That is what this piece hopes to accomplish; it is designed to make anyone that reads it understand me and others like me. I may look old and tired and probably even used up and worn out, and that's because I am, but remember, my generation had cooler cars than yours does! Your generation of women may be as beautiful and exciting as they were when I was in my prime, but your new car choices don't even come close! Few ever gaze lovingly at a used Toyota. If it is ever a choice between show me your Toyota or show me your tits I will need a coin and if it lands on "heads" and I called "heads" I will want to see what you drive!
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