Expect Different

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I have documented well my preference for sports teams outside of the state of Ohio over the years but at 63 years of age sports is not that high on my list of priorities. When it comes to baseball I have been a Pittsburgh Pirate fan since puberty, about as long as I have been an Oakland Raider fan, and when it comes to college football I prefer The Michigan Wolverines over all others and have since 1975. I am allowed to like what I like even if I do live in a city (Columbus, Ohio) where I am surrounded by and constantly heckled by rabid fans of the Ohio teams, and the energy it requires for most of them to express their allegiance to their favorites while relentlessly putting down mine is something a guy like me grows used to but will never understand. It really is a priority for the majority of Ohio sports fans to behave this way, they cannot help it and that's okay with me because 40 years of enduring them hasn't changed anything for either of us. I still like what I like.

On Thursday, September 3, The University of Michigan opened their 2015 football season by losing on the road to a pretty good Utah team. That's just college football to me, it happens...more frequently than I would prefer but it happens. I will go about my own life regardless of what college athletes can or cannot accomplish on the field, but as I expected my friends who are Ohio State fans began reveling in the glee that Michigan lost within seconds of the final score (24-17) by flooding my email box with taunts and disparaging remarks about the Michigan football squad and their new coach and even his family! The message box on my facebook page was also inundated with the same senseless frivolity and I expect it will be a long season for me as well as them. They will spend a great deal of their time boasting and carrying on while I will be looking for more prosperous ways to fill my time.

In years past I would have played along if for no other reason than to amuse them but in recent years sports has fallen to somewhere near the middle of the list of what I really care about. I think a lot of that has to do with being 63 and accepting that people my age don't really look that appealing dressed in sports attire such as football jerseys or painting our faces in our favorite team colors. Actually, I stopped doing that when I was in my late 30s and just moved forward, concentrating on things that mattered more to me than whether or not my favorite teams are better than anyone else's; in other words, life got in the way of trying to hold onto my youthful priorities until I die. It is difficult for my friends that are  my age and Ohio sports fanatics to comprehend when I tell them these things because to many of them, it is a way of staying in a place that makes them still feel as if they fit in with a college crowd. This is not a knock on my contemporaries who go about life differently than me, just a quandry that I don't think I will ever understand. I don't see athletes as Gods and I wouldn't trade anything I own for a sports jersey, let alone spend money that I would rather keep on one. For me, money and everything else I do trumps anyone's won-loss rcord.

I see people in their 60s still arguing and fussing over their sports favorites and I smile the same smile that creases my cheeks when I see them still trying to dance the Twist anytime they hear Chubby Checker sing it. I want to change the subject and ask them what they think of the violence exploding in our country and elsewhere in the world, or maybe bring up my thoughts about an impending election but then I remember, this isn't the time nor the place and certainly not the people to engage in matters that mean more to me than last night's loss for the Wolverines. Their loss was a cause for celebration for people that don't like them and who am I to spoil what is so amusing or important to them?

So instead of allowing myself to be their sounding board (as if they will ever have enough of those) I will concentrate on my own endeavors; I am writing an entry in a blog right now and before I finish I will have to feed my dogs and do a few other domestic chores, and then I will spend a little time promoting my books, checking the sales of them and then go about whatever else the day will bring.

Michigan lost last night and so did the Pirates, but had they both won I still wouldn't change anything about how I will spend this day. The winners will move on and so will I. I get another day older today and there is something else about that my friends in the hometown bleachers will have difficulty coming to grips with; I came to grips with it! I am no longer among the young, I am not a college sports Hell Raiser and nothing the Wolverines could have done last night would have made me wake up feeling giddy and eager to act like one. I keep finding ways to embrace being in my 60s and one of them is the peace that comes with knowing I have done enough with my life to set more meaningful goals that have nothing to do with sports frenzy. I guess in that regard I am the luckiest guy I know. I got here by being different. Being old isn't so bad that I need to fly a Michigan flag from my porch to feel better about it. We are all racing toward death at this age even though some don't want to think about that, and for some, never letting go of a particular passion and never throwing away old toys might be an acceptable distraction from facts but not for me.

I hope my favorite sports teams win every game they are capable of winning, but if they don't, there is always next year. I hope I am still here then and if so I will still like them, and if I am still around I will only be another year older and I will have to keep finding ways to sort through my own priorities and accomplish more than just be an aging cheerleader. Those fans that only like Ohio sports teams will spend some time today watching a clock and staring at a calendar to countdown the days, the hours and minutes before the OSU kickoff to a new season. Meanwhile I have no idea who Michigan plays next week and it really doesn't matter that much to me, only a little. Instead what matters most today is keeping my surroundings simple and staying as healthy as I possibly can.

Go Blue!

First the bricks...

The gorilla warfare being waged on America's police officers is only different from the murderous actions of ISIS in that ISIS kills as a group while hiding their faces behind a mask and encourages everyone to watch them carry out their executions. The intent and the reasons are the same, born from hatred that is instilled in them by those that lead them. Our American born killers are being brainwashed by people with talk shows and by a liberal government that hide their fake condolences behind words like "our prayers go out to the families of the fallen" but then go about business as usual. They ONLY blame gun laws and hope the masses will believe that if it weren't for the ease of good people to obtain them then we wouldn't have so many bad people using them to kill other good people. 

One hundred gang bangers can kill each other today and none of the politicians will even cock an eyebrow, let alone call it what it is and very few liberals in the media will even report it before a lengthy weather report or in depth sports story, if at all. And then when they do some knucklehead that has trouble with basic English language will be found in the crowd of bystanders to be interviewed and most of them are only there wanting to be seen on TV; (the dumber they sound, the more the media likes it) because it makes for more dramatic ambience to suround the story and they will be heard blaming everyone but the people that caused it. But let even one peace keeper take one of those thugs down in the name of safety to us all and peace for everyone else and it is called racism and probably poor training. But that's okay because Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are now running neck and neck for the democratic presidential nomination. One of those liberals could certainly make our society safer because even though they have no clue whatsoever about what life is really like in the mean streets they are very good at making faces that at least seem like they are full of wisdom and concern. But if not, there is always Joe Biden if he decides to run. (I like it when they raise their voices and point with fingers at imaginary targets and say how tired THEY are of what's happening in our country.) Of course they are all full of shit but their rhetoric gives people that can't think for themselves hope.

Regardless of which one of these concerned people gets the nod there is always Al Sharpton to explain how we can fix things to them and to the gallery of misinformed misfits that follow him. By the way, President Obama clearly listens to him because he has taken to echoing him a lot lately; blaming the people and symbols that represent American history for all the things they believe have made us such a crummy country for more than 200 years. To them it is my fault and the fault of all of us that were born before 1960 that hasn't yet signed up for marches and parades that they support. Most of them are attempts to shame everyone, whether we had anything to do with their problems or not and to remind us that we have been going about things all wrong before they took over the podiums. He is in Alaska to rename a mountain that for decades was a monument to another American president, but to his credit he did finally pause for a minute or so to call the wife of a murdered police officer to tell her that she has his and Michelle's prayers. Maybe his next act will be to travel to Queens and rename JFK International Airport. We can only hope or pray that another police officer, or two or more isn't executed before then. 

As a retired cop who has several children now serving the thin blue line I am sickened by the lack of response and support for law and order by those with important titles, big salaries and familiar faces that keep telling us they know what is best for America but do very little more than make speeches that amount to nothing. Their words and their actions have cultivated and nourished this warfare being waged against the very people they rely on to keep them safe. Nearly a million now serving and millions more like me that did can change this by calling them out and then throwing them out. I was a lifelong democrat and I only apologize for being one for the past eight years. America has not grown better under liberal ideology, it has become more like a dangerous freak show in some ways, with ringmasters encouraging the audience to participate in things that could harm everyone and kill many.

From here on out I will only support the people that believe all of our lives matter and admit that some matter more than those that can only bitch, complain and destroy and never do anything that is for the good of everyone. As someone whose patience has run out and whose compassion and generosity has been grossly taken advantage of I encourage everyone to rethink their priorities even if it means switching political loyalty. For what it is worth, I will not be supporting a democrat for president this time because this one has let us all down way too many times. 

Strictly from a sense of decency and what I believe is best for everyone I have turned a deaf ear to anyone that is blinded by liberal viewpoints that coddle the bad while crippling and destroying what is really good. The lberals will scream in unison that it is me that is blind, that I am the problem because I speak my mind instead of echoing theirs, but that's okay because I am counting on the silent majority to keep letting them whine the loudest, chant their chants and hold up their signs to show us all further why they cannot be trusted to lead. I truly believe that there is a silent majority of Americans that are fed up but won't let their voices be heard until they step into voting booths.

For now, Donald Trump looks like the last real American in the group that wants to lead from the top. Had someone told me before 2015 that I would ever support him for president I would have laughed and called THEM crazy, but then 2014 ended with one police officer after another being executed and now here we are. More cops being killed for only doing a tough job in a country that has sacrificed its morals and decency for coddling people with niether. Say what anyone might about his arrogance, but I believe our only option now is to elect an arrogant man that I think means it when he says he can afford to be one if that's what it takes to reel in the people causing the most damage to our country, both economically and with needless bloodshed, usually killing the innocent and then crying when criminals fall. 

By the way, I also believe it is my own arrogance and wilingness to leave behind what others call politically correct ways or thinking that keeps me safe; it is my willingness to do and say whatever I think is neccessary to stay that way. We all follow our own roads and if we hold onto the compass and trust our instincts instead of our career politicians and the media we can move past this lunacy that has been tearing down our country in recent years. Even if it means listening to old white men like me and Mr. Trump that remembers when we were better than we have allowed ourselves to become. I also believe that more people agree with Donald Trump than are wiling to admit. Some cannot afford to admit it but I think there really is a silent majority that might. Some despise him for his wealth and question how he came about having it, but if he is willing to use it for the good of the country then I hope he gets the opportuity to spend it for that. Follow your heart, but use your brain too, and bless the peace keepers and keep them all safe. We all have a stake in this, not just the Hell raisers and their supporters.

The "e" is for "Escape"

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It is away from reality when I need to be there, and it is a sanctuary where I control everything that happens around me. I began exploring internet radio about five years ago as an alternative to the more popular social networking sites where everyone or anyone can weigh-in with their own opinions or as often is the case, their own personal brand of lunacy.  I tinkered with a site called "Classmates.com" not knowing what I expected to find there and it was a bust because all it was was a barely populated haven for old schoolmates that had very little to share and even less in common with the people I knew them to be fifty years ago. We all grew up and moved on and took very different paths through life and I guess there was a reason for that; perhaps to escape from something when we began to understand all the reasons we should. Then at the urging of a friend I looked into something called "My Space" and soon discovered it was more like a virtual playground for kids from 5 years old to about 25 years old, mostly females making duck-faces and sharing other photos that were poorly posed and not well thought out. And then I caved into my curiosity to learn what "Facebook" was all about and why so many seemingly intelligent people from the entertainment and professional ranks were saying that it is the new telephone but with pictures and the easiest method of communication since the invention of the telegraph.

It was only because I recognized so many people with pages that I decided to give it a whirl and start a page of my own; and then another one...and then another one. As my main page grew to 5000 or so-called friends of which I actually knew less than 20 I saw it as just a convenient way to spy on society and watch the world outside of my own tick along at a pace and in a way that I knew I wanted no part of. Still, I became as active as I was willing to be by doing very little more than just promoting myself and a few of my own ideas, sort of like what everyone else was doing but holding more back than most are willing to. After about five years I think I am way ahead of that eight-ball because I have managed to weed out and unfriend about a thousand people that I knew I would never have anything in common with and probably that many more weeded me out and away from knowing any more about them than they already taught me. Eventually I will need to ignore a few thousand more and probably more than that but I am in no hurry. Instead I will be content with being unfriended by a few more each day and allow us both to escape the other at a slower but steady pace.

I don't pay as much attention to Facebook as I used to because of all of the topics that continued to be hammered that I care little or nothing about and in time I will also walk away from my internet radio social networking site called "Heartlites" because that's just what I do; I walk away from people and places very easily when I feel I have gotten all there is to get from either. I still enjoy doing live internet radio shows but I stopped caring if anyone likes what I do or if anyone even hears it! For now I am tinkering with the idea of renewing my yearly contract with the Live 365 network that carries my programs but unless I can come up with a new direction for it I may walk away from it before the end of the year. The truth is, I don't need to do it any longer if having a place to escape from something is all it is. But in the meantime I will go there sometimes at night to stir up a few memories and see where my mind can escape to for a few hours. But what is undeniable is that I am away from mainstream lunacy. There won't be anyone there to remind me that black lives matter and no one to point out why they don't. I won't have to endure anyone's take on who should be president and I won't have to worry about anyone putting anything else in my face that I don't care about and no one has any chance of leaving unwanted messes behind for me to clean up by having to delete them.

Did I get your attention with that last sentence? It was written to do that; part of that edge I have and continue to nurture as I fondle with these keys to do what everyone else on Facebook hopes they can keep doing day after day, after day. The difference between me and most is only in the content and volume of what I am willing to share; that and where the best stuff can be found. Actually the best stuff is here; I dole it out in abbreviated doses and then steer readers to Amazon where hopefully I can sell them a few books and supplement my meager income. But this too is my escape and very few people from Facebook will ever read it because I believe my own research has proven that hard-core and dedicated Facebookers rarely read much beyond what is written beneath a photograph. This piece isn't likely to sell any more books, but like various other social networking sites there is always that one in a million chance that a serious reader will have read the entire text here and maybe be curious about something else I have to say!

As for where else I might escape if I choose to end my radio show, I needn't seek new ways or new places, I have everything I need to avoid being in any company I am not comfortable with. I call it my sanctuary from chaos, others refer to it as my home. But what few know about it is that there is no place on earth (at least not yet) that has as much as I need to be content and stay happy. I can lock out what I don't want in, block any views from outside by pulling a couple of draw-strings and turn everything off when I want to with just a few switches and buttons. Happiness for me has become all about escaping from one doldrum after another when things or people become doldrums. Not that I have much of that around me anymore, because remember, I have reached the age where a younger and faster world thinks we should be ignored. I am just making things easy for them.

I'll Take 1 Candidate And Raise You A Million

Party Bosses

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As a lifelong democrat it has become increasingly more difficult for me to understand my party, especially the local Franklin County Democratic party. In all honesty it is too far to the left for me to comprehend and in short, way too liberal. I don't know whatever became of the middle ground but there doesn't seem to be one anymore on either side; nonetheless, there are many of us who still believe that meeting somewhere in the middle of disagreements is best for everyone when one side refuses to budge. Most main-stream republicans are even worse with their extreme right wing agendas that I find impossible to embrace or even trust. So that leaves me scrutinizing all of the candidates more than I wish I needed to, looking for self serving hidden agendas that offer someone like me nothing while promoting ideas that I will be forced to live with even when they go against everything I ever believed in or hoped would someday come to fruition.

What I am seeing in my own party is a bitterness toward anyone who isn't on-board with every liberal idea they want to shove down everyone's throats, even when it is something that goes against ones faith or upbringing. There are no Teddy Roosevelt's, Ronald Reagan's or even Barry Goldwater's left in the red circles and neither are there any FDR's or JFK's under the blue tents anymore. Most of the time we only have a choice between extremes. We can vote against them both but all that usually does is make a statement, it doesn't elect better candidates because those people usually have no chance of actually winning elections. 

On May 5th Columbus has an opportunity to reject what the big- money party bosses on both sides have offered as choices for our next mayor because there are actually two democrats running who have stood up to them and said enough is enough. James Ragland and Zach Scott are the only two in this race that are offering any kind of change in how we select our leaders and how either will govern if elected mayor. I am as sick as they are of the cycle of being told how to think or how to vote by the democratic bosses and I resent them for calling Mr. Scott a mud-slinger simply because his ideas are not in lockstep with every extreme liberal idea they have; especially after receiving a mailed piece of propaganda from them that unfairly questioned Scott's reputation. In short they implied that because he had enough grit to question what they have been getting away with for decades that he isn't what they call a good democrat. 

I couldn't disagree with them more; the fact that he is willing to speak his true feelings and offer an alternative is exactly what I have always believed in as a democrat. If we don't question the status quo when it is no longer working or when it disrupts other good intentions than what have we become? When did the democrats take it upon themselves to discourage anyone outside its closed circles from wanting to contribute? I admire people for wanting to participate in their government and as a democrat I always believed that more people should. 

The sleazy mailer I received that asked me to join them in blocking anyone from challenging them was an affront to my ability to know what might be best for me. That took a lot of unmitigated gall and it lessened any respect I might have had for the chairman as well as the entire party. It was made of hard stock and was printed in color with a glossy finish and clearly a lot of dollars were spent on the production as well as the postage to get it out. What a waste!


But that's how it goes in politics; all is in fair when trying to control elections becomes job one. Two of the 4 major candidates in this mayoral election will advance to the November election regardless of their party affiliation and one of them isn't likely to be the lone republican who is running because their local organization has been in shambles for years and it appears they didn't think this one out any more clearly than they have others in recent years. I hope that the two democrats who do go forward are Mr. Ragland and Mr. Scott, because the one with the most money to spend in this election is only offering more liberal policies than we have had to struggle with over the past 15 years. Nothing against all liberals, but this is a new agenda that has never existed in my lifetime, one that leaves 2/3rds of us out and offers nothing to anyone who can see two sides of any argument. 

The hand-picked party endorsed candidate, Andy Ginther is young enough to be led by his bosses and his statements to date are indicative that he will carry out every liberal agenda they tell him to because he always has in the past as a city council member. They are gambling millions of dollars that he will emerge from the primary as one of two challengers for the final decision in November, but he has already tilted his cards and given us a peek of what we can expect if we select him, just a puppet whose strings will be pulled by the man who no longer wants to be mayor of Columbus, but who still wants to control the office, Mike Coleman. 

Good luck to Zach Scott and James Ragland in their quest to represent everyone instead of just a few pockets of society that Mr. Ginther has promised to be there for. I can bend a little to meet somewhere in the middle with the far left liberals who are now running the party, but I cannot surrender my soul and allow them to have it all without being held accountable for shady backroom deal making that cost tons and tons of our money, and without offering something good for us all in return. 

Disappearing Act

                                     

Less than 20 years ago I began hearing how we were losing more than one thousand World War ll veterans every day and it left a sobering effect on my own thoughts regarding mortality. In the grand scheme of time none of us really have that much of it from beginning to end and when someone we care about dies it is a wake-up call that we probably squandered a lot of it by not spending more time with them when we had the chance. My parents were from that generation and 20 years ago I wasn't giving much thought about them dying anytime soon, but 18 years ago my mother did and a year and a half later my dad followed. When they were both gone it left a void in my own life that will never be filled.

My work as a writer and publisher is packed with reminisces of growing up in an era that had little in common with the one I am currently navigating through and that includes most of the people around me now. Sometimes I wonder if I have lived too long and when I do the idea of rejoining my parents and the countless others I cared about who have passed on isn't that troubling to me. I have a friend who lives in Romeo, Michigan who is in his 90s and I recall when I first met him more than 35 years ago he talked about looking forward to the day he would die, but it wasn't about being fed up with living as much as it was about wanting to experience what he believed would be a better place in the after-life. All of these years later he still feels the same way and the last time we spoke he said he was disappointed that he has lived this long because now that he is as old as he is he feels used up, no longer relevant to anyone and because the aches and pains he feels now are worse than he ever expected them to be.

He was a Hell-raiser when he was a younger man and he misses that Hell. He was a hard drinker and a chain-smoker most of his life when he was able to afford both and when he had the freedom to go out and indulge, and he was a promiscuous man who looked for and usually found opportunities to quench those desires anytime he felt the urge. Having reached an age a long time ago where none of that is possible anymore has left him with a feeling of loneliness that is easy for me to relate to when I think of all things that I can no longer freely do. Age takes away so much more than good health and exciting desires, it can rob us of our self confidence and it becomes more and more difficult to get any of it back when a younger generation looks at us and shows a reaction; it is usually one of disinterest or an expression that they would rather avoid us and just move on to someone, or something else.

When that happens we are left standing in a place that no longer seems familiar, surrounded by people we don't understand and who don't understand us and wondering what we can do to fit in with a world we used to have a bigger stake in.   

My old friend boasted that he had slept with more than one thousand women "before his gears ran dry and could no longer be greased"...that is how he speaks and I still get a kick out of hearing him talk that way even if the rest of the world around me might find such utterances offensive. The humor I found then and still find in my friend is that he talks of bad behavior as if it is a good thing while quoting passages from Scripture. Some might think of him as a hypocrite but to me he is no more hypocritical than anyone else I know who criticizes anything I say or do. I don't know any perfect people but I do know many who seem to want others to believe they might be. 

We all have our faults, and my friend is right when he says that eventually our greatest fault is becoming old, because the time does come when we are just in someone else's way. Not many people his age or even mine is likely to blurt out..."I remember pussy"  when asked what they miss the most about youth, but that is exactly what he said. Then he reminded me that those beautiful and interesting women that we always found desirable got old like us, and like us many of them became just wrinkled faces with bodies that have fallen victim to gravity and poor diets and with skin that enjoyed too much sun over too many summers. 

I miss that kind of honesty from men like him;  from that era when older guys than me didn't worry as much about what they said because they didn't feel as if they had to; ask a simple question, get a real answer with no polish or fancy frills. That's who those people were and how many from my generation used to be before so many of us felt we needed to change. My friend is part of that generation that is nearly gone now and I am shocked at how many younger people don't even care and how many more who are probably glad that society is turning the pages for what they regard as a better world without them. I suspect that many of them are feeling the same about my generation; that they will be better off without any of us who can remember the middle of the 20th Century as a better time than now. To them I would say be patient, time flies faster than you think and before you know we will all be gone and there won't be any traces of the world that existed before you got here. 

Indeed, every time an old historic building is torn down I am as sad as some are glad to see it obliterated and replaced with one more aesthetically pleasing to them; perhaps a new one made of glass and shiny steel instead of bricks and elaborate cornices; one with straighter and smoother lines that catch and reflect sunlight or the rays of strategically placed lighting. The appearance of brick and mortar is probably as drab to them as I am to them. 

As I approach my 63rd summer I feel I am nipping at the heals of being over the hill, others would argue that I have already crossed over it; especially those who have taken our places in jobs, and in places like stadiums and in lines at the supermarket. The truth is, my generation is disappearing too; I read or hear of the passing of people my age and younger more and more everyday and each time I wonder how much longer I will be here to share stories, or talk about the changes we have seen and why some of us are really not that impressed with most of them when compared to what we saw and experienced in life. 

That time when my parents were still here and when they mattered to a lot of people, and when their parents were still around and still had much to offer. Back when most of my own life still lay ahead and when remnants of the era before mine were still plentiful. Life was simpler and much easier then, so who wouldn't miss that?

When I write it is from personal perspective and experience and I don't expect any of it to be of much interest to anyone who doesn't think a little like I do. But I really don't care because even if only a few actually read it and understand any of it I still feel pretty good about sharing my feelings if only because I still have the desire and the opportunity to.
  
My old friend in Michigan might just outlive me and I hope he does, but I know he hopes he won't, and that comes from something else he told me more than 20 years ago; "I hope I am not around for very long when the rest of the world gives up on me."  He worried that life would suck if the time came when his hands were too shaky to light a smoke or pour his own drink. His words were funnier to me then but his message was sad when I got old enough to understand them. A guy like that isn't for everyone but I still like him and I like what he reminds me of; a place and a time filled with people who only wanted to live out their lives being graciously accepted for who they always were and leaving behind something good for the generations to follow. My grandparents probably died believing that but my friend and I both feel that they might have been the last ones who could.

Meet Trigger

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I was sitting in my studio late last night when I heard a noise that sounded like a car door being slammed and with the reflexes of an aging cat with arthritis I stood up slowly and walked to the front door to peer through the Venetian-blind; more out of suspicion than like the nosey old woman who lives across the street who does that constantly whether there is a noise or not. I think she stands guard at her own Venetian blind more out of fear of missing something than fear that anything out there may be amiss or even worth investigating. But I can't shake the natural reaction of an ex-cop whose instincts are to stay vigilante and pay attention to noises from dark places, especially in an area where car and garage break-ins are  normal occurrences.  Until a few weeks ago I might have moved even slower to take a peek because until then I would have suspected it was only someone coming home late or maybe a bandit breaking into someone else's car. When it is someone else's vehicle that is being tampered with I usually mind my own business because I am retired from chasing bad guys, but if they are after my stuff I want to know.

Two weeks ago that noise wouldn't have gotten my attention because the car I owned then was 14 years old with around 160,000 miles on it and it had a windshield that was cracked in 4 places, it also had a busted tail-light and four bald tires that were suffering from dry-rot. It was not something a thief would have even noticed sitting there, and in fact, a neighbor once crashed into it while trying to parallel-park, claiming he never saw it. That one was a Chrysler P.T. Cruiser that I called  "Life Boat", because even though it wasn't much of a car it would get me anywhere I needed to go in an emergency or anywhere I wanted to go within a few miles of home if the weather wasn't conducive for walking. I didn't worry much about anyone wanting to steal it unless there was some rogue old woman roaming around out there late at night searching for her dream car. The P.T. Cruiser was a hot seller in it's heyday because it caught the imagination of hundreds of thousands of elderly women across America who still had a driver's license and could still see over a steering wheel because it reminded them of driving or riding in cars owned by their fathers or husbands, cars with rounded fenders and running boards that were everywhere in the 1940s.

But the younger thugs out there who are looking for something to steal look for more sporty cars or cars that look expensive and when they see one they hope a laptop or a purse full of money and credit cars is lying on the seat in plain view. I never left anything in the P.T. besides dirt and dead leaves on the floor board that had fallen from my shoes over the years. I never washed and waxed that car in the five years I owned it, and when anyone would ask why I didn't, I would explain by asking them, "who would steal a dirty old P.T. Cruiser with a busted windshield?"

The answer  back from them was generally the same, maybe some elderly female car thief who always wanted one. Anything is possible in the world we live in now, but I never really worried much about something like that happening and it was one of the reasons I kept the old Life Boat. There was more stress driving it than there was worrying that someone wanted it for nothing. But that all changed a few weeks ago when I traded it in on something newer, one that didn't have cracks in the windshield and had two working tail lights and a car alarm that works. I had my mind on a Ford Mustang for a long time because let's face it, I am not getting any younger and there isn't much about me that is cool anymore, so why not buy a cool car? I figured even though the old P.T. was on its last legs I shouldn't think of myself as being on mine, I still have enough strength in them to mash down a clutch and feel something exhilarating when I release it. 

After all, this might be the last car I will ever buy; mortality is something I am reminded of more and more every year. It wasn't an example of going through my second childhood because I have already done that 4 or 5 times, and it wasn't a mid-life crisis moment because I passed mid-life a few decades back; it was all about having one more very cool ride while I was still able to get one and enjoy it. This could very well be one of the last few times that I shop for something extravagant or whimsical for myself, so if it is, I wanted something I can enjoy looking at as much as I do driving. 

But it is also a car that sort of stands out from all of the the others when it sits out there because its color is brighter and it seems to make a statement, unlike those run-of-the-mill more expensive foreign cars and SUV's my neighbors prefer, it is one that younger, more adventurous and unscrupulous southside dirty butts might notice first. So now when I hear suspicious noises outside late at night I have more on my mind. So far, so good; the security measures I have in place have worked. It sits in a well lighted spot, my nosey neighbor watches over everything and I have two big dogs with big barks anytime they hear anything withing a half city-block. And then of course, there is me. I pay as close attention as I can to my surroundings and I am a very light sleeper. 

When I came back into my studio to continue my internet radio program I reached for a record by the 1970s band,  America, and it dawned on me: the song was called Horse With No Name  and now I have a Mustang without a name. What should I name this horse; Seabiscuit? It sounds fast, but no, too lame. Perhaps Pegasus, but he had wings and the one in the center of this grill doesn't. Maybe Centaur, but no, he was only half-horse. And then, as if a voice from my past was whispering in my ear it came to me; give that Stallion a name that is easy to remember, one that evokes fond memories of youth like the car itself does, and one that others will recognize when they hear it; a name symbolic of what you hope it will bring to you. 

Just then I reached for a record by Roy Rogers and Dale Evans called, "Happy Trails to You."  As I listened to the song I heard another noise outside and went to peek. I needed to know that everything was okay out there, and that my new horse was bedded down safely for the night and being left alone in the dark, just as Roy would have done. It just makes sense to go with the name I picked for this one because it has become rather special to me just as Roy's horse was to him. Therefore, there can only be one suitable name for it, especially if it happens to be the one that will carry me off into the sunset of my own life!

Chances Are

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At the rate we are going we could all be gone tomorrow but for the sake of everyone let's leave that discussion for several years down the road and focus instead on where we have been and where we are today. As for the time leading up to now mine has been mostly well spent but I have wasted or squandered a lot that I wish I had back. But if this were my last full day here I really have no idea about how I would spend what is left of it; no idea because I never really gave much thought to an agenda for the last one if indeed I knew when it would come. The best any of us can hope for is for spontaneity to kick in just in the knick of time! That is, that we will be able to remember all of the things we hoped we would get to do and have time to get around to doing it; whatever is most important to us, or at the very least what is most personally satisfying.

The chances are that if you are somewhere within a few decades of my age you sometimes long for the past and wish things could be like they were at a certain time in your life, and if you are something like me you know the best any of us can do is probably what we are doing to make the most of where we have come in life. The past is fine, still back there where we left it; we cannot change any of that and there isn't much about it that I would if I could. Now and tomorrow is the challenge because we still have time to work on adjustments if we think we need to. Oh sure, we all made mistakes along the way and it would be less difficult to name them than it would be to list all of the good and happy times we had and that seems a bit unfair because all of us wish we could just forget them. I wish I could remember as many details of all of my good decisions and what was going on around me when I made every one of them, if only for the sake of recalling all of the good things in life instead of just the highlights. It seems that many of us do remember our blunders and hardships with more accuracy than we do the smaller joyous things we did, but some of that balances out when we compare our bone-headed decisions with the good ones we made. After all, how miserable would we be, or how hopeless would we feel if the bad stuff trumped what was good? Thankfully, my mistakes are dwarfed by what went right for me.

Anyone who married the wrong person or didn't finish a good project when they should have knows exactly what I mean by that. Someone who may have gotten caught up in drug or alcohol abuse knows it and anyone who didn't have the patience or take the time to get to know someone a little better who might have brought them more happiness knows it as well. The chances are probably good that many of us still have time to tweak our priorities and do something we have thought about doing for years but they are even better that we won't because it is our nature to put things off when we can; some of us never run out of excuses to delay our intentions or doing things we know we want to do, especially if whatever that might be happens to lie outside of the norm. Whatever phase of our day is normal is where we find the most comfort. Some would call that exercising common sense and doing nothing to rock the boat or change what always works best for us. Being bold and taking chances in life can be daunting and it could lead to more mistakes, but it is that chance that something big and good could come from it that leaves me less skittish than some that makes me willing to test an idea or go at one full-throttle. This, from a man who is looking down the barrel of becoming 63 years old very soon.

Last year at this time, I was in the planning stage for a new book I wanted to write about the significance of an upcoming birthday that would qualify me for Social Security. My head was packed with emotions about that milestone and I was wondering then as I am now if I had done enough in my life to be satisfied that I left no stone unturned that I could have turned over. What was not in my thoughts was surrendering to the notions that I had done all I could hope to do, contrary to anything like that I believed then as I do now that I could do more and would do as much with my life or what is left of it as possible. None of what I was contemplating then was new for me because I have been doing that all along; it is why my resume is packed with various occupations and what I regard as personally satisfying achievements. I think I made it! My triumphs in life outweigh my failures and some of those failures were doozies! But it was when I did fail that gave me the most motivation to never make the same mistakes twice, even though I did make them at times. I am likely to make a few more before my final day, but I hope they are few!

In any case, I have plans for the days ahead and among them are some pretty amazing goals for a man my age. I am blessed with a desire to never become irrelevant or want anything that could be considered out of my reach or obsolete. I want one more exciting car, for example. Having been a car buff since I played with toy replicas I have already owned many; my passion is for vintage automobiles, but it wouldn't have to necessarily be an old one to get me excited about driving again or about spending a hot afternoon waxing or polishing one. Just a car that I could look at every day and feel something good about. Lately, I have been dreaming of late model Ford Mustangs but my dreams go beyond one more vehicle, and before anyone jumps to the conclusion of an old guy going through his second childhood let me asure you I have already gone through a half dozen or more of those!  I feel as if I still have something left inside of me to do that is either an extension of something I already have done or maybe just something I might have forgotten I wanted to do, or maybe it is something I have only flirted mentally with doing. When I am sure of what it is I will find every means possible to do it or I will end up disappointed again.

It wouldn't be the first time that disappointment and myself have been on a collision course; we have met many times before and when we have we found ways to simply go our separate ways. So the chances really are good that something is once again bubbling beneath the layers of whatever it is that motivates me, and whatever it is I will feel it before it becomes too late; before that last day and before the chance to act slips away for good. For anyone who has followed or is only familiar with my work as a writer, none of this should come as a surprise. For anyone who isn't it might read like wishful thinking or expressions of a lot of hot air, not unlike what we walk away with after listening to motivational speakers. I am not trying to motivate anyone here and I don't feel as if I need anyone to motivate me, I am merely documenting more of my own personal thoughts. When that next big thing does come around for me it will be just another chapter of many. Perhaps it is just one more cockpit, but hopefully it is more than just a reason to buy a few more bottles of car wax! Something lies just ahead for me and I believe it is something very personally gratifying. If I didn't think that, I would be nervously planning what I hope to do on my final day here.

Power Up

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I am an unintentional folkloristic; that is, I have made it my life's work (unintentionally) to scoff at certain legends, proverbs, descriptions, jokes, fairy tales and tall tales and the belief that they are actually facts just because they have been told over and over. Actually a lot of it is nothing more than folklore that has been twisted and exchanged in various themes that all resemble a little truth but mixed with inaccuracies. Let me explain; I am a self taught folklorist who never set out to be one but there can be no denying that I have gone to great lengths to dispel the notions of anyone who doesn't understand or won't admit that I am not always acting out of bias when I challenge and then present evidence that I am right about a certain topic. And since I was raised in the south end of Columbus, Ohio and have chosen to stay grounded to my roots which are now more than 60 years deep I think I have had ample time to study and dissect some of the folklore surrounding these old neighborhoods that lie just south of downtown Columbus. To paraphrase a Will Rogers comment regarding the difference between a Republican and a Democrat, it takes a lot of money to live in certain areas of Franklin County but it takes a lot guts to live in certain areas of the south end!

As I continue to age I become more and more pleased with my decision to stay put instead of looking for excuses to want more than I ever had or to live in an area surrounded by people who might look down their snoots at where I came from, for I have something that no amount of money could ever replace, the satisfaction of knowing that I have lived this long and this happy about where I am. I heard it for years; the folklore that started a long time ago that the south end is just a bunch of old neighborhoods, heavily populated by dangerous people who have less ambition than those who strive for a higher social status. The old houses down here with basements that flood after a heavy rainfall, broken and uneven sidewalks and bumpy old brick streets. Those are facts, and it is true that water does leak into my basement anytime we experience a torrential downpour and the sidewalk in front of my home is in dire need of replacement! The brick street I live on is bumpy but I like it! If it were paved it would probably be even more bumpy because asphalt and blacktop have a tendency to break apart and form pot holes whereas century old bricks are more durable and only bumpy.

My home is far from beautiful and I do not enjoy state-of-the-art comforts and conveniences in it but that's okay because I have what I call retro comforts and conveniences! The same ones I have enjoyed for a lot of years. I am satisfied that I have indoor plumbing and old fashioned light switches that work when I flip them; in fact, sometimes when I turn one of them on I pause a moment and wonder how many times it has been touched by fingers of someone I cared about; my mom and dad, my siblings, my grandmother and all of the friends that have come here since 1958.  That's how long someone in my family has lived in this old house; since then I am the second owner of it, my dad was the first! Yes, it is very old, built in 1907; it is not unlike most of the others on my block or for blocks a few miles in any direction. The old south end; often neglected by the very people who could bring more homes up to code or do more about a crime rate I am not proud of just by paying as much attention to it as they do more proper areas of Columbus. Sometimes it feels as if we are as forgotten as we are neglected by our mayor and our city council but I think that speaks volumes about our character and our fortitude! For those of us who stayed put after the intentional obliteration of what was a very good community oriented public school system that saw neighborhood kids placed on buses and trucked to other parts of town instead of being allowed to walk a few blocks to school, I believe fortitude is understated. Because it wasn't until that happened in the late 1970s when this area really headed in a lateral direction. Prior to that controversial court decision this part of town was safer, if not populated by softer hands and cleaner fingernails, the true working class who struggled here before things got worse than it might have already been for some. The history of this area has been one of tough and determined people for as far back as I can remember and I have no intention of ever being any different from them. It was how I was raised, how I intend to remain, and I guard it with every means available to me.

What some see when they traverse certain areas of the south end is not what those neighborhoods looked like before mandatory school busing; the attitudes of many of the residents who now live in those places is nothing similar to what it was 40 years ago when a different culture existed there. In other words, a lot of what was good about the south end left a long time ago and was replaced by people who embarrass us all. Some choose to be embarrassments but I don't think they define who we are. They certainly don't define who I am or anyone I ever mingled with around here. I know because I witnessed the changes and I have strong opinions that I have never been shy about expressing. To anyone I might meet on the street on any given day I am just another  south side dirty butt but that doesn't matter to me in the slightest. Indeed I joke about it myself and some would argue that I go out of my way to resemble only that! The truth is, I don't go out of my way to look any way, I sort of like it when others underestimate me. What they don't realize is that they have! It may sound perverse to some but I actually enjoy the stares from strangers who see me moseying about and look to be wondering how bad off I am by the way I am dressed or my overall appearance that to them might suggest an old lost soul with little hope. It is as if they believe they have an edge, simply by how they are are dressed compared to what they see when they look at me. Contrarily to what they might think I believe it is me with the edge because I clearly see the image the want to portray and it is probably who they are, whereas they have no idea whatsoever who I might really be. 

What they cannot see is a content man who has already been where they are striving and competing to be in life. You see, this old neighborhood is also heavily populated by people who have a lot, young professionals who have bought into the celebrated history of of our area of town, especially the one that is known and listed in the National Registry as a historic community, German Village. I live as close to million dollar homes as I do to run down boarded up ones. There are as many BMW's and other high-end cars parked on streets nearby as there are hot rods and other rattle traps. When anyone of more means than I notices me they don't see my history, instead they may wonder when I will go away and be replaced by someone who better fits in with what they hope the neighborhood could better attract. What they don't know is there is no more determined advocate for that than me because I rarely show that side of myself! I treat those moments as studies in cultural diversities because that is who we are around here. So it isn't as if I go out of my way to appear to have less going for me than I have, it is more about the satisfaction of not needing to. I am not eccentric but I could understand the perception of someone who might think I am. I guess at times I do deviate from what is customarily regarded as normal or expected behavior or thinking, but I don't do it because I don't know any better or to make any sort of statement, I am who I am by coincidence! What others see or think they know about me is merely what I show them. If you have ever read any of my other published work or if you truly do know me none of that should disappoint you or cause any concern because those who have should be able to find the humor and innocence of this image some might have of me.

I am as humored by those who look suspiciously at me as I am cautious toward those who might appear to pose a threat. I can still fend for myself wherever I am and probably much better than some might believe. It comes about from attitude; something I learned a long time ago on the streets of the south end of Columbus and it is why it is so easy for me to be as passionate and as vocal as I feel I need to be when it comes to discussions that truly concern me. It is where I draw the material I write about and how it was that I found ways all my life to wander in and out circles I wanted or needed to be in. Some of those circles were quite impressive! In short, I power up when I think I need to. South side dirty butt? Perhaps. But there are a lot of us around and no negative folklore about this old part of town can define it in any version when someone takes to repeating it to me. I can name former mayors of this city who grew up nearby as well as city council members, county commissioners, sheriff's and any number of other movers and shakers. The list of world famous athletes is also a long one as is more people from other famous walks of life but that's all irrelevant to what I am trying to impart here. This is about pride of where I am and have always been. It is about people who know exactly what I am talking about and who agree that even though the south end has long gotten the short end of the stick there are still enough of us who power up when we need to or when we want a more accurate reflection of who we are.

The power we all need to show everyone else who we really are lies within the walls of city hall. It is guarded closely by the decision makers whose numbers aren't in the favor of the south end and haven't been for decades. But we can change that by showing most of them the door and replacing them with people who understand that Columbus can be a better a city if neighborhoods like ours that have been neglected are given the respect needed to blow away the folklore of not being worthy of any desire to make them better. It will take more people who can be as vocal as I am willing to be and who can put aside what they think they know about us and pay attention long enough to listen to us and find common ground that works for us all. I have long stressed a need to change how we govern and are governed by establishing wards and finding the right people to represent them; to give neighborhoods more voice to the issues that are important to them. I am a south side dirty butt but I clean up nicely and whether I decide to wear a suit today or kick around in blue jeans and a t-shirt I am confident that my constitution to make a positive difference in everything I do is as strong as it ever was. I hope  what I have shared here is contagious, not just for the people down here but everywhere. Powering up is only a state of mind. All the south end really needs is a little more determination and stronger voices, and I urge those who really care about our heritage and want to see the best of it linger awhile longer to seek them. At least keep an open mind and question that folklore that some believe defines us.

The Lines In My Face

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The lines in my face are real, I earned them; they aren't there because I spent thousands of dollars on plastic surgery to make myself look older, I am older! I got to this stage of life not by accident but because it is God's will that I live this long. Maybe it is a form of punishment for something evil I did in my youth, or maybe it is because I have been selected for a reason or reasons I don't yet understand, but I do believe he is keeping me around for something else.

Punishment, you might ask? It seems that way sometimes when I look back at the struggles I have endured and think about more of them just ahead. The challenges of staying focused when times were darkest such as losing loved ones and the sadness of losing all of those amazing pets that have shared my life, not to mention the thousands of times things didn't go just the way I hoped they would. The longer we live the more we can expect to feel those emotions again, not to mention new aches and pains and worries of what will become of us when we can no longer be in charge of our lives. Yes, the lines in my face are real and soon there will be more of them in a face that I often find unfamiliar. 

You wouldn't know it to look at me now but there was a time not too many years ago that I might have passed for a handsome man to some people. Why, I can recall when total strangers would look at me and then look again, and sometimes I could feel their eyes scanning me and looking me over and it was not uncommon for them to smile and actually say something indicative of interest in me! Of course that isn't likely to happen now and if it did some might think it was a miracle; moreover I would be quite surprised myself if it did! But I don't count on it because I am in that cycle of life when hiding in plain sight from most of the people I come in contact with gets easier and easier. I am able to go almost anywhere now unnoticed and if I want to be I have to actually do something that would probably be out of my character. Just being myself doesn't work like it used to.

Those lines are real but I find comfort in them nonetheless because they remind me of where I have been, the things I saw and experienced; the things that will take those who never notice me many more years to catch up with! There is no substitute for being around a lot of years and doing lots of things to understand all of this; my life could not become a course of study that could make a student fully understand what caused those lines and why I have lost muscle mass in my body or shrank an inch in height over the years; one would have to be able to answer..."almost 63"  if someone were to ask how old they are to know why there are more lines in my face this year than there were last year, or why my hair looks like hair seen in old black and white TV shows and movies. Were that a color photo you would see there are only traces of what it all was ten or fifteen years ago. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed when the stubbles of white growth on my face fall from my electric razor when I shave. Not too many years ago if I went a few days without shaving those hairs made me look manly, but now after a few days it looks like I have a face full of lint!

Believe me when I say that I am not okay with that! But even though I am not I still refuse to succumb to using dyes, or creams or other treatments to hide the lines to fool others into believing I am younger than I am. Therefore, as I have done most of my life I will soldier forward and try to make the most of my situation by confessing that I have become a senior citizen. I had hoped that when this time came it would be better than it is but here I am, in a world that moves faster than I can but in one that still hasn't found a way to ignore me. It might have if I had allowed it to but I'm just not ready for that yet. I try to stay relevant in it by the homework I keep cranking out; blogs, books and an internet radio program that I think is quite unique. I call it "Talk Radio with Music" and by relying on my knowledge of mass communication and experience of living a life that had me doing that for many decades to make a living I have managed to cultivate a small following of people who really get what I am after! That is to hang on for a little while longer to who I have always been without feeling any need to reinvent myself just to fit in, regardless of those lines in my face and the date of my birth shown on my driver's license.  

My radio program that is heard at night around the world is an extension of the things I write about; I crafted it from from the theme of one man's opinions and I compliment it with the music I have played and listened to all my life. It can be described as an oldies channel but that isn't how I see it; the music is old, in fact some of it is older than me but the music is really just a soundtrack playing in the background of some live play that features a cast of one and sometimes a special guest playing the role a character who validates the rest of the story. To do these things requires using the most important muscle I have left, the one that hasn't weakened yet and instead gets stronger with each passing year; my brain. There aren't any lines up there and no one can see its real age but they can know what it is even if they never look at me. That is what I have left and when it goes everyone will know because everything I keep doing to hold my place in line will stop. When that happens there will be more lines in my face than there are now and every time I see a new one I am reminded of the things that are less and less easy to embrace. 

That photo is obviously a selfie but if it weren't I wouldn't have one to display. No one wants to take my picture anymore and I cannot blame them because I am not that interesting and the things I do have no mass appeal. It is a selfie and one that was easy to produce because the computer I am typing on now has a built-in camera. All I need to do is sit right where I am and click a button; it catches exactly what I am doing without much effort on my part and without assistance from anyone else.

The only logical explanation for anyone to take a selfie and let others see it is that if we don't capture these moments now then it is possible there never will be a record of what we really look like in the present moment. That is unless we pester someone to take our picture or pay someone to. Or, unless we do something amazing or at least worthy of someone else wanting a record of a particular moment. But that isn't who I am, that was a long time ago, back when those lines now seen in my face had not yet formed, back before I earned them. So I look at them philosophically; yes my face looks old but because I am I have something that tighter faces don't, a mind that probably understands more things and the wisdom I need to face each new challenge. There is not a lot of joy in getting older but it is easier to do when we understand more about it. I paid for these lines so I guess I will celebrate them even though the celebration won't be much fun. To try to sell anyone on the belief that they are just lines would be foolish, but for others to know that I earned them is an admission of acceptance from me as well as them. All I can hope for is that I am not judged only by how I look because I still have a few things to do. What other reason could there be for those lines or for me to have lived this long? 

An open letter to our candidates

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Dear candidates for public offices in Columbus, Ohio;

I have been paying attention to all of you and a few of you have been very creative in your promises to be all you can be for us. I have listened to and read what you say is important to us all  and these are very good discussions and we need to have them. But equally important is we need to move beyond the discussions, past the election process and actually implement the things we all know we need to be better than we are and go further than we have become accustomed to. I have long railed against what has been business as expected by the usual suspects who have made public offices in Columbus and Franklin County stepping stones to bigger offices and in some cases "retirement homes" where they believe face-time in front of cameras and recognition is enough to keep them gainfully employed without having to actually accomplish much. That's what we have had for a long time; good speakers with impressive backdrops, ie: fancy suits,stylish haircuts and propping up their families as models for the rest of us to be like. They do that and then carefully choreograph "Hollywood-like" mini plays where they are surrounded by other impressive people who pretend to adore them as they walk among hard hats in factories or holding hands with rag-a-muffins in blighted areas, promising things they have no intention of delivering.

We have a history of voting for you because you have familiar names and because you raise obscene amounts of money to insure we hear your messages. Millions will be spent getting some of you elected or re-elected and when I think of how far that money you keep raising could have gone to resolve real issues that you speak of I wonder if you are serious about the things you talk about. Some of you have names that have been circulating on ballots for decades! 

That has been our political scene here for a very long time and we all know it, but where we fail is in not talking more about the bottomless rhetoric of people of those with the most support.  Any student of the cycle who has really paid attention would know that a style of politics exists here where the mentors of those they steer into office is not that unlike the shady deal making that has existed in places like Chicago, Baltimore and D.C. for eons. Our current mayor  has even been revered by the local media for his trendy taste for expensive suits and ties. He appears to revel in looking good and being liked by the money bags more than he does in wanting to really be a people's mayor. But then again, who can blame him? He works in an environment that has been this way for years. Great talkers who look great in pictures, but ask anyone who is either unemployed or underemployed how impressed they are. They are less likely to follow these people and smile at everything they say or do than the media is, and thank God for the media and its willingness to keep showing them because otherwise we might not know how much they truly care about all of us. Because it is us that they lose sleep over, night after night isn't it? One of my favorite talking points that is getting a lot of air-time now is how much is a fair wage for people who are willing to work any job they are lucky enough to find.

The raising of the minimum wage is a start, but the discussion itself is a slap in the face to anyone trying to survive on 8 or 10 dollars an hour. That is our biggest problem, the cash flow that is needed between consumers and those in business cannot grow unless we leave behind basic commodities and focus on what cost the most. But is that a good idea? Aren't we leaving more and more people behind in our zeal for higher technology jobs and positions in the investment or medical field? I confess, I am a little bitter about that because most of the people I care about haven't found a way of paying for the education they might need to apply for those jobs, and just as many don't particularly want that line of work. We have a record of building more high priced condos than we do of more affordable homes for those begging for better wages, and we build them at the expense of ignoring boarded up ones that no one wants.

But before I am labeled you should read further, and know this, I am a Democrat but I am not a liberal and because the Democratic party here has become more liberal than suits me I am willing to listen to the other side. I have no history of supporting Republicans but I would if it meant a fairer balance of discussions over what we need to get done. Personally I would like to see a complete tear-down of what we have now, all new and fresh faces in the mayor's office and on city council. And this is where my views get a little sticky; I am sick of no middle ground that is best for all of us, not just for the special interest groups that include the money bags as well as those who only want what they can get for free. As an older white male who has paid at least my fair share in dues and probably more than some, I am tired of hearing that I should change what has always been my way of thinking. All I ever wanted and hope for is that we all get what we want if we can earn it, even if it means holding onto our values, and even when they might not be politically correct. 

I can stand with anyone and support their agendas only if I don't have to change or give up what has always worked for me. What has worked is that I ask no one for anything over and above what I have earned and that as we dole out new privileges and muster new  conformity's that we are expected to live with and embrace, that my needs are also met. I cannot be sympathetic to poor race relations that are making headlines now because there are too many on both sides of that issue who do all they can to keep the problems going. I will not be held responsible for my own race if some in it are bad seeds. I grew up and stayed in the south end all my life and the African American community and me have lived close to one another all that time and we don't hate one another although some might. They are the ones who always will regardless of what gets changed or doesn't. What happened in Ferguson was tragic and I don't want to see it here and if it makes its way here I didn't bring it and neither did anyone I care about. But if it does, I will not join either side, either in a peaceful or violent act. My African American friends and neighbors feel the same as I do. We won't lift a finger to incite anything that could take a bad turn and get us at each other's throats. Some would but we expect our leaders to find ways to resolve those things. Many of us are just too old to risk injury if things go south. But can our leaders do it? Think about it, our top city politicians have been in office for years, and if new problems surface or old ones are revisited, will they be there? Where have they been on this issue before the campaigns began?

Certainly it isn't because we don't have diversity among their ranks, it isn't as if Columbus  hasn't had a pretty good blend of minorities for a very long time in key places of authority.  But more and more that subject rises to the top with ideas being exchanged and promises that we can and will be better than the rest of the country if we elect the right people. But who are the right people? Are they the loudest ones who have discovered new talking points, or are they the ones who are really willing to get out there and work for solutions? For the record I am merely a bystander for now because I don't have the answers that will suit everyone. But neither does anyone else so I am comfortable with myself. I'll try to do more when everyone else does or when I am asked to step up by someone I can trust.

My point on all of that is this; I have played by the rules all of my life and now I am 62 years old. My generation is the largest in this country (so-called "Baby Boomers"). We hear a lot about the down trodden young families (black and white), of better relations with immigrants and of changing our views about sexual orientation, but what of the rest of us who are neither rich or poor and find it increasingly more difficult to fit in with those receiving the most attention now? The politicians come to us for support and we read their agendas about supporting gay rights, better pay for women and minorities and more jobs and better housing for people who need it and we want that too, but what they seem to forget is that people like me also struggled for many years when they and their predecessors could have done more than they did and could do more now. But they gather popular issues like Ferguson, same-sex marriage, focusing on what African Americans needs and wishes are while leaving the rest of us out. Where is a plan for us all to have the opportunities we all need and hope for? Lost somewhere between liberal and conservative thinking I suspect. All I want from here to the end is to get decent health care when I need it without going bankrupt and to be able to keep more of the money I earned over the past 50 years without being asked to invest in something I have no opinion of or something that doesn't improve my quality of life as much as it probably will others. When I came out against the last Columbus City School levy I was vilified by some for not supporting "our kids". Our present mayor strongly supported it but in the end about 70% of Columbus voters agreed with me and it went down in flames. Those of us who said "no" didn't rail against it because we don't care about kids, we read the damn proposal and how much it would cost. Then we looked at the dismal record of CCS and how much it would damage our own personal finances in the bargain, which was no bargain whatsoever! Especially for people like me who must survive on a fixed income while some of the suits who already have more than I will ever see wouldn't also be asked to anty up.

Property owners are the ones that are asked to pay for those agendas and all I ever asked was why only property owners, why not everyone? Perhaps a sales tax on goods we all buy. I found that many of the biggest supporters of that levy didn't own property and that they enthusiastically voted to raise my taxes even though they knew they wouldn't have to share the burden. Once again, I have reached the age where it doesn't matter to them if I get stuck with the bill even if I have no means of increasing my own income while they keep finding ways to earn more. That just does not set well with me and is yet another example of what I am waiting to hear from the candidates. How, or why should I vote for you if what I and hundreds of thousands of people in similar shoes never hear how you can balance fixing whatever else is wrong while not forgetting us?

My generation doesn't make a lot of noise by having rallies and parades because frankly we are too tired. We did those things nearly fifty years ago and here we are, watching the same debates over the same issues, only now we are the confused and befuddled oldsters left shaking our heads. It is no wonder so many of us have raised the white flag and surrendered to the notion that we can't change what cannot be changed unless we clean house and find people who are willing to put aside personal agendas or popular talking points and offer fresh thinking. So where is it? Where are the reasons I should vote for the most popular names and candidates who raise the most money. Once again, I am a white male who will be 63 years old before the smoke and dust of your campaigns clear in November. I am not gay and I do not support gay marriage but you have my word that I won't stand against anyone who does support it. I still believe in live and let live so don't ask me to march in parades or come to rallies for causes that have never mattered to me and please don't preach to me why the ones that don't should. I live in an area of the south end known as German Village, I have many gay neighbors and I like them all but I am not their Calvary; I won't pour any of my own energy into their cause and they all know that and I think they are fine with it, and if they are not then they have lied to me. They are as sympathetic to my issues as I am to theirs but so far none of them have asked if I would help them organize a parade or a festival seeking more attention to be paid for us seniors. And before the question can be lifted as to why I don't take the lead and start my own campaign, remember, I am old and tired and even if I did I couldn't realistically expect thousands of other tired senior citizens to want to come and party with me. That said, I also will not turn down an invitation to a cook-out in their yard this summer and they know that also. It is the same with the African American community that is just a few blocks from my home; when they have community gatherings in vacant lots I go there and they share their food and I enjoy their live music and they don't see me as some old white guy only there out of curiosity or to show my white friends anything, in fact, many of the older ones in my peer group don't understand all of the fuss others are making about race relations and we seem to share the same concerns about our health and safer neighborhoods for us as well as for families around here that we don't know.

I am often described as out of touch, I have even been called a Neanderthal Man for my way of thinking by some who just don't get it or never take the time to hear me out, but if I am either or both, know this, I have been around for a very long time and for the most part I have done okay. Hey, I am still here and regardless of who wins the upcoming elections I expect to still be around. As for the rhetoric about improving community relationships with the police; I am a retired cop who is proud of my service and I have family members who are cops and I resent the constant badgering the law enforcement community has to endure when politicians find their talking points to be on the side of those who think we're all a bunch of thugs who were never trained properly and that it is us who needs to learn new ways of doing the jobs that you expect us to do. From what I have seen and experienced the number of bad or corrupt seeds in our ranks don't even come close per ca pita wise to the numbers that exist and have existed in our neighborhoods since the beginning of time, or for that matter, among those who currently hold or who have held other public offices.

In recent days we saw a sheriff in a county to the south tried and convicted of crimes and subsequently he is done. But that's what we do, we weed out the bad seeds and move forward as we always have. There are bad seeds in all walks of life, so until we begin to name them all and suggest that everyone in every organization should be retrained anytime one of them screws up then where is the validity in the argument that cops are at the root of our problems in the streets or anywhere they are asked to be? For what it might be worth, there is no training for people who can't or aren't willing to be who we trust them to be. But I was that person, I relied on training that was in place 30 years ago to keep me and those I served safe and my personnel file from two separate agencies is a matter of public record (Franklin County Sheriff's Office and Obetz Police Department). Go look for yourself. I made a few mistakes, but none worthy of relaxing the training curriculum that has been working very well for a lot of years. Furthermore, there should never be any part of a police officer's training that teaches one to be slow to react to deadly situations or ones that could escalate to one very quickly. This past winter the law enforcement community around America was vilified and a few of you are keeping that pot stirred with campaign promises to fix whatever problems there might be in any police agency. Do that, but we're still waiting to hear how you will fix the people and the neighborhoods they live in so they won't be as inclined to misbehave. Bring them employers that will hire them and improve the schools and stop coddling the bad ones and blaming the rest of us for not doing more to understand them every time they feel an inkling to rebel. 

Maybe it is unrealistic for some of you to believe that we all cannot become as liberal and forgiving as you might hope, but once again, I and many others was raised and lived in a different time than many of you; those of us who stayed alive and out of jail all of these years were able to that because we had self respect and because we had a set of values that you seem to want to change or are just different from any you understand. In other words, don't ask me to study the differences between me and others if you aren't going to ask them to also study me and try to find common ground.

By the way, that sheriff down south that went awry is one of 87 other sheriff's who aren't under any suspicions. We have a good one here and he is running for mayor. I have looked carefully at my choices for that office and I am choosing him. It just seems to make sense for me to go with a fresh set of ideas. The other three might be talking about a law enforcement system they believe needs tweaked or changed, so maybe they should all step aside and let someone professional look into it and master the plan if it is needed. As for the other races for seats on the city council I will decide among the newest faces also. The old guard has pretty much worn out its welcome so they can save the cost of postage by mailing me fancy literature and send it where it will do them the most good, to their campaign backers and others who only make decisions based on name recognition.

Peace, love....and well you get it, I'm an elder from way back.

Rick